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Thoughts from a deployment

Updated: Apr 18, 2023

Recently I got my airman, honey and best friend back. And my boys got their daddy back!!!

I'll link the homecoming video of the boys below. Here's my HILARIOUS sign that I made. Let's just say, I certainly don't hold back in what I have to say 🤣

I don't even know how to put into words about how I feel having him home. I feel---whole. Calm. Happy. On cloud 9.

His first night back we had a conversation about how we can keep the "honeymoon phase" of the homecoming going.

Truth is (if you're military you'll get this, if not, I want to share this with you!) pre-deployment and post homecoming honeymoon phase can be ROUGH. Pre-deployment there's just a lot of mental preparation for them and also ourselves as spouses no matter how we try to stay in the present moment, which I feel my healing journey definitely helped me this go around stay more present. Post honeymoon phase sometimes things just shift. We know because we have been through it. After everything we've been through in our marriage but more recently in the past year of a near separation last year in January, it's not something we even want to shift into. We are healing individually, we are healing together. And damn, we are stronger now than we have ever been because of these things.

I wanted to share with you part of the conversation my husband and I had shortly before he came home.

"It was eye opening for sure. "


Words from my husband about our short deployment.

Let me just be real with you for a sec in a "not everything is sunshine and rainbows" way because look-I'm human too.

Deployments SUCK

Sometimes, there’s something good that can come from it.

We felt SO strong in our bond before he left because of the work we have done together all year (2020)

In our case, we had time to think separately.

We spent time in contemplation.

We were forced to communicate even better because truly it was all we had and we leaned into that.

We worked on ourselves in between what needed to be done.

We grew a new level of appreciation of what we have together and what we see in each other.

Trust me when I say, I do NOT wanna do this again any time soon.

But it’s really incredible the gift that was given to us with time apart.

Going back to the honeymoon phase. We aren't oblivious to the fact that life will happen. Sometimes things get stressful (with tools to help us, it definitely makes it easier to move through) and just busy, ya know? We just don't want to slip into the habit of letting life get in the way.

Here's what we KNOW to be true: We have to make each other a priority. Dating often (even though covid still has us getting creative and doing different things, it's been fun!), lots of communication, releasing the judgements and inner thoughts of the past (which means we have to help each other recognize this to heal through it) and lots of grace. We also do the 5 love languages and honor what each other's is.

If you have ever been through a deployment or military separation or been away from your spouse any length of time, I would love to hear what you have learned too! Feel free to comment below and tell me!

Here's the video and pictures from our homecoming! I didn't get one for myself, we were all made to stay in our vehicles due to the virus BUT I will say my intentions were to run and jump on him but it was SO slick out I just ran to him and wrapped him in a big hug and kisses because I thought maybe the ER on homecoming day wasn't a great idea

Click the video below to see the kids being surprised. It was ADORABLE!

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