This message, lesson and growth has been a long time coming. Something I've WANTED to share with you for awhile but truthfully unsure HOW to deliver the message to you in a way that I wasn't going to be triggered as well.
I had to HEAL through this before I could get in a space that I could share this with you and the world.
Last fall (during eclipse season actually), I had one of the biggest tower moments I have ever had in a crumbling of everything that I thought I had known and SO much of what I had built.
There was a build up of me sensing something was going to happen, doing deep research, asking a LOT of questions and then BOOM. Total fucking explosion.
It was during this time that anxiety, panic attacks (we're talking hyperventilating type panic attacks) and depression came back in a way that I thought it NEVER would.
I thought I healed that shit.
About 5-6 years ago, I spent a a LOT of time doing deep inner work and healing after MANY years of having anxiety and depression feeling "normal" for myself. Thanks to my spiritual awakening and willingness to dive inward + use my resources, it had no longer been my reality anymore.
I wasn't prepared for what happened in those moments but...I'm going to share with you HOW I got through it and feel COMPLETELY neutral (painlessly) in under 6 months from the situation that happened and how I now KNOW what it takes to neutralize and alchemize this in under 90 minutes.
Let me start by first saying that I am in no way 'diagnosing' someone with narcissist personality disorder or a mental health disorder, I'm not qualified. I'm also not diminishing the experiences anyone has been through with someone actually diagnosed NPD.
That shit is HARD and I hope this email finds you peace in your healing too.
If you're not aware, a narcissist is someone with set behaviors such as a being entitled, selfish, needing a lot of attention and wanting to feel significant (sometimes that's the martar). They show no guilt or remorse. They go around using, abusing and manipulating people.
When I say 'narcissist', for the purpose of this situation and email, it's in the sense of a general terminology of extreme manipulation, entitlement, using and needing to feel that sense of ego stroke 'above everyone else' energy.
Grab a cozy blanket or go sit in the fresh air and let's get into it...
Last fall I started to feel some energy lurking around me.
As a spiritual being with gifts that are in tuned (I'm sure you know what I mean because you're here reading this now), you can SENSE when something isn't right, ya know?
My clairsentience started ramping up in the past few years and clairvoyance is SUPER strong. I started to sense (and see) snakes in my energy. As this was happening, I was calling in protection, cutting cords, etc. Ya know, all the things.
One day, while driving my son home from therapy on a Friday (more on why he goes to therapy in a future email this month) I got a vision of a HUGE snake in my energetic field.
It freaked me out and when I got home, I started smudging, calling in angelic support and all the things I knew how to do to clear, cut it out, and be protected.
I had no idea that this was only the beginning.
Without going into major details of exactly what happened (this will come to light soon enough), some shady ass 3d things started to happen.
I received an email from an organization I was associated with that, once I read it a few times through, felt like something was SUPER off. I asked around to people I trusted if it was just me getting shady vibes (I didn't want to respond emotionally but also wanted to make sure I what I was actually seeing in my email inbox) and the unanimous consensus was that they were seeing what I was seeing.
So, I started arming myself with knowledge.
Coincidence in relation to the energy I was seeing and feeling?
I think not.
When I started doing research and asking TONS of questions.
The more questions I asked, the more manipulative this person/these people became.
I kept getting unclear answers and just a bunch of run-around, less than half truths, egotistical answers (which is so bizarre to me in a field that's considered to be Healers and Lightworkers...just throwing that out there)
The more questions I asked, the more backlash I got until...
Shit just hit the fan in my business and the tower just fell.
What I know to be true now is that it was a HUGE re-direction.
I wasn't following and trusting the signs so I as literally THRUSTED into a re-alignment in what felt like the worst way possible.
Literally everything I had been building since 2018/2019 time frame was ripped from underneath me in the most unexplainable and shocking way possible.
If you have a business or have built your life around something you just know...it's truly like your baby.
Not only that, it was part of my passion, excitement, the stability, the consistent.
POOF.
Truth be told, I could have just kept moving forward but from what I had reasearch, felt and experienced over the weeks leading up to that moment I KNEW It was in MY best interest to walk the fuck away.
I had several lawyers tell me to just keep going. Like a try me energy. Which was full of confidence and badassery but complete transparency? It wasn't fucking worth it. Period.
As a military wife and mother of 2 boys, my priority isn't fighting with someone who will manipulate those they teach, put themselves on a pedestal.
So I made the decision to walk away.
Dust my hands off and say fuck it - there's a better way to serve and be supported.
Even though that decision was EASY and CLEAR AF to make...it didn't come without some grieving and HUGE feels.
And that's where the personal crippling fear began
I'm talking anxiety, full blown panic attacks at 2am in the shower with my husband holding me and depression.
This is also where the healing came in through ways I cannot even put into words.
I spent nearly a month in survival mode taking care of what I needed to behind the scenes
in my business.
Wrapping up what I needed to, taking care of my beautiful current 1:1 clients and students, etc. Anything extra was put on the back-burner because I was then the priority more than I had ever allowed myself to be before.
I started hiring Healers of all kinds, High Level Mindset Coach, Witches and Rapid Resolution Therapy Specialist (RRT for short)
I KNEW that I couldn't move through this alone.
I KNOW I am worthy of being supported.
Do I have the expertise and abilities to move through it alone? Sure. But that was never the point of journey on this planet. We RISE TOGETHER.
So I let myself be supported.
What's WILD about all of this is that I had spent nearly the past year at that point really dialed in on nervous system regulation and higher level mindset/subconscious reprogramming.
So, even though this rocked me to my CORE, I also know that prior to having focused DEEPLY on nervous system regulation & high level mindset work, it would have probably broken me.
I came home to myself and started being non-fucking-negotiable about my own inner work. Just to name a few things:
Nervous system regulation
Breathwork, meditation, exercise, journaling, cold shower therapy
Self healing
The support looked like:
I continued to have 2 alchemy healing sessions a month
I hired a friend to do an emotion code healing session
I hired a friend and healer to do a business energetics and spirit reading session
I hired a friend/coach to do high level mindset coaching
I hired a healer to do an akashic records reading and healing in the records
I hired a witch to do a few spells (for the harm of no one and good of all)
I hired an RRT Specialist THREE times.
The accumulation of all of this was IMPACTFUL.
The most MIND-FUCKING-BLOWING and PAINLESS one?!
Hands down, RRT
Look, I know this sounds wild coming from a Healer who is certified in many different kinds of healing modalities and coaching as well as birthing something else new into the world as I type this (slowly but surely, more info coming soon). But I'm telling you...it's wild. Hang with me on this...
RRT blew my mind SO MUCH that I knew I needed to get trained in this modality that is taking the online space by STORM. I had been experiencing it for a little over a year through various coaches but nothing neutralized/alchemized the fear and anxiety like this modality did for me. (Yes, 100% I still continue to hire healers and coaches that feel aligned. And? I get RRT whenever I am feeling called to clear something too) What exactly IS RRT? RRT is a form of psychotherapy that was created by Dr. Jon Connelly to neutralize trauma, without having to relive the pain of the experience. It was originally designed for combat veterans and women who suffered sexual abuse, but it has been shown to be effective at treating other types of unhelpful emotions and sensations like anxiety, depression, and panic attacks With RRT you don't need a long, ongoing relationship with your therapist because it DOES neutralize SO quickly. RRT uses metaphors, story telling, visuals and hypnosis to help the unconscious mind make adjustments to unhelpful emotions. This means you will be able to have full access to your logic, strategy, and creativity. AND feel free and clear from literally anything that's been weighing you down (known or not). So cool, right?! My first session left me SPEECHLESS (if you know anything about a Gemini, that's not easy to do) We literally chatted for about 20 - 30 ish minutes about what had happened, what had been bothering me and what my reality currently looked + felt like. Remember how I said I was having fully blown panic attacks, anxiety attacks and depression? In under 2 hours, I COULD NO LONGER ACCESS THOSE FEELINGS. I could no longer access the rage, guilt, shame, anxiousness I felt around the person/people and situation. You could literally walk up to me RIGHT NOW and say 'Hey Christian, I need you to feel the feelings and access everything that you did before this session and I'll give you 10 million dollars' and I would have to tell you to keep your money because I couldn't. To this day? I still cannot access them. Period. Full LIBERATION. I no longer have panic and anxiety attacks, the depression I was having is gone, the fear I was experiencing is no longer there. I feel so much alignment, inner peace, DEEP knowingness and trust that I have literally never felt before in my LIFE. (Which is also blowing my mind because after going through something like that, it feels strange to say I feel so good but I'm SO here for the weird/strange and totally unexplainable) After that 1st session? No BRAINER to get trained in RRT myself. I already have the soul gift of alchemizing unsupportive feeling, fears, limiting beliefs, etc - this is taking it to the next LEVEL.
How is this supportive for you, Healer ? In addition to my soul gifts of alchemizing that I just talked about plus also activating your soul gifts being a Healer and having my own energy healing that I do for clients (which I also offer in my 1:1 coaching AND signature program, The Rising Phoenix) certified NLP Coach, Spiritual Life Coach If biz is your vibe, I also got you with all the experience, knowledge plus BS in Marketing with social media marketing emphasis And???? I'm also incorporating RRT into all of my programs and coaching going forward. This means deeper transformation as you heal and liberate yourself to that next level version of you. Liberation and inner knowingness, clarity and freedom so you can move forward in your POWER in life AND business. I DO encourage you to check out the rapid resolution therapy website, Dr Connelly's books on amazon as well as at least doing a free Monday night solutions so you can see for yourself what it's all about. And also...
If you are ready to be supported and you're feeling that... You are frozen in fear, imposter syndrome and wondering who the fuck am I to show up with my gifts and CHARGE for them?! Finding yourself sitting down and shutting up so you don't rock the boat because 'that's what good girls do' Have one foot in and one foot out of your gifts and abilities, like you're living two different lives. Close yourself off to your spiritual gifts or 'protect yourself because let's face it - sometimes it's a fucking LOT to always be experiencing You're ready to STAND in your MF'N POWER as a Healer, no longer hiding, no longer afraid to use your voice so you can live out the soul mission you KNOW you're here to do.
My 1:1 Activated Healer Coaching Program is for YOU, Healer 3-month 1:1 journey where you will ...Alchemize your fears, liberate yourself from the witch wounds and step into your mf'n POWER as a Healer DM me here with the word 'Activate' or Hit reply and let's chat further If ANYTHING at all, I hope this inspired you and gives you hope that what thoughts your mind may be thinking and feelings you may be experiencing that are not supporting your highest and best good CAN be moved through ...in a way that's gentle, FUN (I always find myself actually ENJOYING this process with my specialist) and painless. The proof is all around you. You got this! Have a beautiful day! Christian PS: Keep an eye on your inbox because I will keep the INSANE exclusive content I'm sharing with you via email ONLY (I haven't even talked about these topics publicly). Next one will include Trauma Healing: Having a Suicidal Teen.