I will be the first to tell you it is okay to sit in the mud.
It's okay to feel the feels and let it be what it is. It's okay to invite a friend.
It's okay to unpack some bags and just hang out in the muck in the situation that you may be in.
Not all situations will require that, but some of the harder, deeper situations, they may require that and it's okay.
Give yourself love and grace through that process. But also know you do not want to stay there forever. You cannot stay there forever, nor should you. I really want you to get to the point where you feel a weight has just lifted and you're following what feels good.
Here's something that I have learned over the years through my own self study and spiritual journey, as well as over five years of coaching:
What the underlying issue is, is rarely what's coming through on a surface level.
Whoa. I know, right. Let me just repeat that...
What the underlying issue is, is a rarely what's coming through on the surface level.
What does that mean? We're triggered about something. Someone pisses us off. Something comes up in our life and we are just mad, upset. Whatever emotion that we're feeling, it's all so valid, but truly it's coming from something else. And Damn. I know that's a really big and bold statement.
It's totally mind blowing too. And it can leave you wondering, "Sounds great, Christian but HOW do I know what to do?!" Just know that we can put that specific thought that statement in the back of our mind and peel it back layer by layer. You do not have to know the answer right now.
I give some examples of what this can look like in episode 7 of Rise Within Conversations (you can click that to go directly to my podcast episode)
Today, I wanna give you some tips to work through this. (And if you need further guidance, consider joining my 1:1 Spiritual Life Coaching program)
The first thing is acknowledge what's coming up for you. Maybe you're feeling angry or sad or resentment or guilt or shame. Let's shine some light on it. But shine light on it without judgment. Rather with love and see what's there. Those feelings that are coming up for you. They're there to tell you something they're telling you something is off. Something that's coming up within your body that is coming out and an emotion.
The second thing is journal it out.
Write down the situation or the situations that are coming up for you like you're talking to a best friend. No one is gonna read that journal - it is for you. The journal is not for the reader it's for the writer. It helps you slow your mind down and to really find that inner peace and gain some clarity.
The third thing that you want to do with your journaling is to ask yourself some questions. And literally you ask yourself questions until you cannot ask them anymore. This looks like: Why is this situation bothering me or pissing me off or upsetting me so much? And then write that out.
But why? And then answer that.
Well, why else?
And then you ask anything else?
And then you ask if there were anything else, what would it be?
The point here is to get to the root of why this is truly bothering you or causing so much emotion inside of you. Typically, like I said, it's more than the surface level irritation. There's a reason. And the fact that you were triggered is giving you an opportunity to look at it without judgment.
The next thing to ask yourself is what beliefs has this created in my life? What patterns do you see that are stemming from that one situation?
And you may be able to pinpoint different situations in your life or different ways that you act or react to different situations. So writing that down is really powerful because we can't unsee what we see once it's in our awareness. Now we have a chance to look at it because sometimes what happens is subconsciously something will just be tucked to in our brain because it feels safer not having that memory or not having that situation is. And sometimes we truly just forgot it.
Next you can ask yourself, is this my ultimate truth? And just a little hint most of the time, the answer is no. And then you can ask yourself, what is my ultimate truth? Now this statement right here, this becomes your affirmation. It becomes the thing that you will tell yourself, because it is the new story that is yours. You have an opportunity to reprogram your brain. Remember whatever you put out you get in. So if you're telling yourself this new positive story, that is actually your truth, you are creating more of that in your life. You can put this around your house in sticky notes, the notes section on your phone, your phone or laptop background, write it on your mirror. Anything to help you remember and state your truth.
Again, you can learn more about how to do this in Ep. 7: Getting from Where You Are To Where You Want to Be on Rise Within Conversations.
If you're ready to dive further, I'd love to help you. I have 2 spots left for my Spiritual Life Coaching program.
(2) 1:1 coaching calls
(1) 60 minute 1:1 reiki session
(1) Group reiki
24/7 access to me (like having me on speed dial)
Mini lessons in your login & weekly check-ins
Plus my meditation series for free.
I have a few package options and all include affordable extended payment plans
Trust your nudges. If it feels like a yes, I got you.
Contact me here and we'll see if it's a good fit for you.