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© 2018 by Christian Jones

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  • Christian Jones

When We Numb The Darkness...

Updated: Aug 30, 2019

We numb in ways that we don't even realize and when we do this, we dim the light on a chance to heal something deep within.


A chance to peel back a layer on a wound. Many times, we're triggered by these things that show up in our life because of something we've been through in the past and when these triggers? We're being guided to HEAL. But most of us don't take that opportunity to look and see WHY we're being triggered. Because we're pissed, hurt and just don't want to dig around in shit that's from the past.


A little over a year ago I decided I was giving up wine and chocolate.


I know, I know. It's effin' crazy. You're probably thinking uhhh yeah...I could never do that. Yeah...I thought that too.


See this 80 day health and fitness program came out and I was determined to do the program "justice" (whatever dafuq that means).

I made it the full 80 days without wine. I made it 30 days without chocolate.


What can I say?? I LOVE MY CHOCOLATE! I mean literally, yesterday in a freakin blizzard my husband left the house to go get some chocolate for us. LOL! #truestory


What I didn't realize I was actually going to learn was this... I was using wine and chocolate as a numbing mechanism.

To "chill out" from a hard or stressful day. When I was irritated at something.


Stress. It was all related to stress.


And maybe you don't relate to the wine or chocolate (maybe you do with stress eating?). But what about this: ✨Mindless scrolling on social media ✨Binging shows all the time ✨Staying "busy" ✨Not WANTING to sit still and think??? ✨AFRAID of what might surface???


I FEEL YOU!


At first, for me, it started with food but then I realized I would grab my phone to "relax" or scroll instead of fix an issue or when I was pissed about something.


Listen, I don't think there's a problem with mindless scrolling, having a glass of wine, enjoying chocolate, etc -->IF YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS TRYING TO AVOID SOMETHING.


That's exactly what I realized I was doing.


Not that I was an alcoholic (I wasn't) Not that I was addicted to my phone Not that I needed to be "busy"


I was avoiding my issues. I decided there had to be another way and chose to heal instead.


We can overcome this. This is the work I've been doing for over a year now and it's totally changed my life from the INSIDE.


So what did I do? These are things that can help you too!


I began journaling again. If you need ideas to get started, click here for my free 7 days journaling prompts with tips. I literally found a pretty journal that I loved and started writing out my feelings. At first I had no idea what I was doing but I just knew it made me feel better. Which is the whole point. Then over time I learned how I could take my venting sessions in my journal and ask myself questions to see things differently and to heal. I realize some things DO need therapy (and I'm all for that! Therapy was a big part in what saved my marriage!) but there's a lot that we can work through, peel back the layers and heal from ourselves. I won't lie, sometimes it ended with me in tears but that HEALING on the other side--wow. There's just no words.


I continued meditating I began with simple, short (10 ish minutes) meditations that were guided. I learned that there's no wrong way to do it and that you will get better over time. Even meditating consistently now for over a year, I still prefer short meditations over long ones. I just don't have the patience for long meditations all the time if I'm totally honest. LOL! Now I love to do un-guided meditations with just some soothing nature sounds. I love the apps Calm and HeadSpace. You can also meditate by walking in silence, intentionally in the shower or bath, sitting in nature...literally, you can't mess it up. And it will change your LIFE.


I recognized what my triggers were ...and I wrote them down so I could journal them out. I wrote out what pissed me off and WHY it pissed me off. Then I asked myself questions like - where is this coming from? I learned TRULY that what's triggering me has NOTHING to do with the other person and is simply a reflection in the mirror. It's an opportunity to heal and grow.


I worked on my mindset Not in a cheesy affirmation bullshit kind of way. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good affirmation IF the feeling is behind it. Rather, I noticed my thoughts in a loving, non judgemental way. I recognized when thoughts were going south and simply stated to myself "No Thank YOU" and changed the story. This does take some time and work. Love yourself through this process and you will get SO GOOD at it! What's also helpful is if you remember those yucky thoughts you have---you got it! Take it to the journal! Write them down and figure out where those thoughts came from, why they're surfacing and what your truth is.


I got GRATEFUL Gratitude is where it all begins. If we can't be grateful for what we have, how can we possibly be open to receiving more? Every day, I write down 3 things I'm grateful for. I FEEL the feels of having those things and express more gratitude throughout my day as well. Now it's a natural part of the process.


I leaned into my spirituality (and cyclical nature as a woman too!) These just feel like they go together for m. This is going to look different for each person but no matter what YOU believe in, God/Angels/Spirit/Universe/Mother Earth...lean in. I began to really learn about me and what spirituality looked and felt like for myself. I also learned more about the cyclical nature of women and how to be more in flow, crystals, Angel Cards, using Sage frequently, following the cyclical nature of the moon and season...it's been beautiful and EMPOWERING. I stopped listening to the world around me and started going within. Listening to my higher source, my team of Angels and asked for guidance and help on my path of healing.

I unapologetically released what (and WHO) was no longer serving me This was probably one of the hardest things I did but it was necessary. I took a look at the things in my life and just decided, it's time. I'm an adult and it's ok to walk away from things that are not serving me. It's ok for me to say no. It's ok for me to stop taking things on when my body and soul are saying I don't want to. It's also ok for me to gently and lovingly close the door on relationships that are not serving me. That last one...it was painful but freeing. It never required a conversation with anyone but myself (or heck...even a letter that you write out and burn safely). I never had to explain anything and was never rude about it. I just decided there were certain people that I was no longer going to spend my time around and that is ok.


I continued to move my body ...but in a way that felt GOOD for me! I spent so many years being so strict on everything in my nutrition and following every fitness program to a T. Not resting as much as my body begged for and honestly having my life revolve around my health and fitness journey. I just couldn't take it anymore! NOW...I eat healthy because it makes me feel SO FREAKIN' GOOD. But I also enjoy the chocolate and treats now and then when I want them too. I follow the fitness program I'm doing, but I rest more. I move around my workouts so it fits in my day now so much better. I rest the first day or 2 on my period and I make sure my rest days are when it's convenient for me. And when I do take an extra rest day to honor my body? NO BIG DEAL! I pick up where I left off. And MAN it feels so good living life this way. If you're ready to start you're health journey Mind*Body*Soul in a way that feels less pressured too, click here to learn more! I'd love to have you in my Operation Jaw Drop Community!


So there you have it. I hope that these lessons and tips inspired you to take action in some way today. And if you need ANYTHING, you know where to find me.

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