Pre-Deployment: Diary of a Military Wife

Last night I cried myself to sleep.

I was sitting watching my Packers play the Seahawks just enjoying the game and Matt sitting next to me. Then all of a sudden he says, “Oh-I got my deployment checklist. I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be done before the end of the month.”


Cue tears.

I’m not fucking ready for him to leave. I know he will be safe and fine. I’m not worried about that. Thank GOD. I just don’t want to LIFE without him. And the strain on my baby’s hearts. Omg, it tears me up.

I know I chose this life because I am strong enough to handle it. But DAMN that doesn’t make it feel easier.

The deployment dread is the worst. I want to be present with him and I want to prepare myself. But nothing can prepare you except actually being in that time.

So what do I do?

I cry. I fucking cry when I feel like it. I’m not about to pretend that I’m ok with this. I love him and I support him of COURSE. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions about this.

I write. This will be my healing, putting it all down on paper and getting it out.

Give myself space to process. I don’t have to push down the emotions. I can process and FEEL them ALL.

Spend quality time with Matt. Intentional quality time. Being us-laughing and not being so serious. And having great s*x 😘

Lean in. Talk to friends and family. Don’t shut everyone out and don’t set expectations for everyone to understand. I have a village that I can lean into through this. I just have to let them in.

Yes, I’m strong and independent but I don’t have to do this alone.

Live and love like he deploys tomorrow.

❤💙written 11/16/18💙❤

You don't have to do this alone. We are all in this together.

#deploymentstrong #deploymenttips #predeployment #militarywife #USAFwife #airforcewife #deploymentquotes #journalingtips #journalprompts

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